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I'm a perpetrator of domestic abuse

I've been abusive to my partner / family member

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It can be very difficult facing up to problems and recognising that you are causing harm to those closest to you.

Abuse is something that is said or done which hurts another person physically, emotionally, sexually or mentally. These behaviours may occur frequently or infrequently. In most cases there is a pattern of abuse.

Abuse doesn't just happen. Rather than being about loss of control, as a lot of people think, most of the time it's about you trying to be in control.

It is important that you face up to how your behaviour affects your partner and your children. The more you can understand what it is like for your partner, and how it might impact on your children, the harder it will be to behave badly towards them in the future.

Services are available that can help you make changes so that your partner and children can be around you safely. Changing abusive behaviours is a long and difficult process but is achievable.

Is domestic abuse a criminal offence?

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Domestic abuse isn't a type of criminal offence in itself, but the law allows abusers to be prosecuted for other offences instead. Criminal laws that can be used to prosecute in cases of domestic violence and abuse include:

  • murder, attempted murder or manslaughter
  • rape or indecent assault
  • unlawful wounding, grievous bodily harm
  • assault causing actual bodily harm, aggravated assault, common assault
  • harassment and putting a person in fear of violence
  • forced marriage

If legal action is being taken against you, the following laws can also be used:

  • intimidating a witness
  • harming or threatening to harm a witness
  • breach of an injunction or a restraining order

What help is available to help me stop being abusive?

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If you are abusing your partner, you can stop and get help to change your behaviour. There are trained advisors who can provide help and support to men or women who are abusing their partners. Contact Harbour (03000 20 25 25) for more information.


Route2 seeks to prevent and intervene early in cases of domestic abuse.

The service is targeted at men who:

  • are physically/ emotionally/ psychologically/ financially or coercively abusive to their partners (or family members)
  • are over 18
  • have had minimal contact with Police, Courts or statutory agencies for domestic abuse offences
  • may have already asked for help with their behaviour.

Route2 hopes to divert you from the Criminal Justice System and prevent abusive behaviour escalating and becoming habitual. The aim is to reduce risk and harm to partners and children by preventing offences like breaches of restraining orders or bail conditions.

If you would like to find out more about our service, please e-mail info@route2.org.uk or call, David: 07484 501315 or Nina: 07484 501316.

Is a Perpetrator Programme available in Middlesbrough?

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There are behaviour-change programmes available in Middlesbrough. They work on a one to one basis and in small groups aiming to: help men stop being violent and abusive; help them learn how to relate to their partners in a respectful and equal way; show them non-abusive ways of dealing with difficulties in their relationships and coping with their anger, and how to keep their partner safe. To access this course you will need to be referred by an agency you are working with such as police, social worker or health visitor or alternatively you can self- refer by contacting Harbour (03000 20 25 25).

What is a DVPN?

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A Domestic Violence Protection Notice (DVPN) places certain conditions on an individual aged 18 or over which may include:

  • Stopping you from entering, or being within a certain distance, of the victim’s home
  • Stopping you from making the victim leave, or excluding them from, their home
  • Requiring you to leave the victim’s home

Why have I been served with a DVPN?

You have been served with a DVPN by the police because they believe that you have been violent or have threatened violence against a person who needs to be protected from you. The law allows the police to serve a DVPN against you even if the victim does not agree to it.

What happens if we live at the same address?

If you live at the address specified in the DVPN and the DVPN requires you to leave immediately, then you must leave straight away. You will be able to take any possessions that you need with you. You will have to find somewhere else to live. The Homelessness Team (08000 461 600) will be able to provide you with information and advice on this. The police will ask you for an alternative address and contact telephone number where you can be reached in the next 24 hours.

What if I do not follow the conditions of the DVPN?

You will be arrested, kept in police custody and then brought before a Magistrates’ Court.

What is a DVPO?

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A Domestic Violence Protection Order (DVPO) is an order applied for by the police and made by the Magistrates’ Court. The police will give you a time and date to appear at the Magistrates’ Court. The court will hear an application for a DVPO within 48 hours (excluding Sundays and Bank Holidays) of you being served with a DVPN by the police. If you do not attend the Magistrates’ Court, then a DVPO can be made in your absence. The law allows the Magistrates to make a DVPO against you even if the other person does not agree to it. In addition, the Magistrates will take into account the welfare of anyone under 18 who the police consider will be affected by the DVPO.

What happens at court?

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At court, all evidence will be heard and you will be given the opportunity to ask questions and give evidence yourself. The Court will then decide whether to make a DVPO. If an order is made it will last for a minimum of 14 days and a maximum of 28 days.

What is a DVPO?

A Domestic Violence Protection Order (DVPO) is an order applied for by the police and made by the Magistrates’ Court. The police will give you a time and date to appear at the Magistrates’ Court. The court will hear an application for a DVPO within 48 hours (excluding Sundays and Bank Holidays) of you being served with a DVPN by the police. If you do not attend the Magistrates’ Court, then a DVPO can be made in your absence. The law allows the Magistrates to make a DVPO against you even if the other person does not agree to it. In addition, the Magistrates will take into account the welfare of anyone under 18 who the police consider will be affected by the DVPO.

What other national agencies are available to help perpetrators?

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The Respect Helpline offers information and advice to people who are abusive towards their partners.

respect.uk.net

Contact number: 0808 802 4040

Opening times: Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm